A Month of Pippin

Today marks one month since Peregrine came to join us. The days have flown by. As I suspected, mothering a second child is different than mothering the first; your love is more spread out, but without being less potent. I can't devote as much time to talking to him, to holding him, to trying to see if I can tempt him to give away his first real smile. He doesn't singlehandedly monopolize my days. There's a bit of sadness in that, a wishing that there was more of me to give solely to him. But stronger still is the joy I get in watching Tadhg with him and knowing that just as Tadhg experienced my mothering a bit differently than Peregrine can, Peregrine gets to experience having a sibling in a way Tadhg never could. And if God gives us more children, the relationships between us all will continue to evolve in ways I can't see yet. As the youngest child in my [large] family, I have firsthand experience with this. But also because I'm the youngest child, I want to try to keep up whatever traditions I can from child to child so that when the youngest one comes along they aren't tempted to think they were just one more kid. So, I'm sticking with the faddish monthiversary trend with Peregrine, too, so they both know what it's like to be part of a monthiversary fad...

There aren't really any exciting milestones one can share about a newborn ("he eats, he sleeps, he fills his diaper"). But there are a lot of gut-level feelings, and just as many this time around as there were with Tadhg. I still marvel at the sustaining of Peregrine's life when so much could have gone differently. He is precious in a way I never knew he would be when I was carrying him inside. He is such a sweet baby--quiet, content, and so easily soothed (so far) when he gets to snuggle up tight on your chest. He still startles like a deer at just about anything. Overall, he seems to be a better sleeper than Tadhg was. No conscious smiles yet, but they'll come.

One of the greatest things about a second child is that you know how much fun is in store as you get to know this little person.

We can't wait to know you, Pippin.

** Note: (Disclaimer: I'm the only one who cares about the note.) (Disclaimer to the disclaimer: Really. I'm serious.) We had Pippin's one month appointment with his pediatrician today. The last one was two and a half weeks ago, and he weighed 8 pounds, 1 ounce. Today? Today he weighed 10 POUNDS, 12 OUNCES (I obviously find this very gratifying as his mother, in case you couldn't tell by the capital letters). The nurse and the doctor were both quite impressed with his obviously gluttonous nature. His weight percentiles (which don't matter in real life in the least but give mothers reasons to rejoice, lament, compare, etc., etc.--all clearly healthy things) are impacted by him coming so early since most other babies in his age bracket have an extra few weeks of growing on him. As a result, he started out in the 24th percentile at his first appointment. All that eating now has him in the 60th percentile, though, notwithstanding the handicap he started with. Pretty sure that if he'd made it to his due date he'd have been bigger than Tadhg, considering he should only be a week old today.

Father's Day

One more day 

that settles sleepily 

into dark

just as all the days before it--

yes and no.

One more day 

of ordinary wonders,

 lungs that fill

and empty and fill again,

life that courses from 

chest to head to limbs

and back again.

But also a day that holds 

five years' time in its twenty-four hours, 

five Father's Days of being without.

A day that holds two small boys in hands 

that mark with incessant momentum

 seconds cascading into minutes

mounding into hours

piling into weeks 

until mountains of months

line the landscape over my shoulder.

A day that reminds me 

mortality is worn loosely, 

a garment that ill-fits us all

and will one day be shrugged off 

for something tailor-made.

____________

This Father's Day I remember my own dad: flawed, eccentric, loved. I think of the father of my two sons: quirky, tender, wholehearted. I think of all I have to be grateful for. 

This particular Father's Day also holds a great many thoughts of my mother. I'll be brief here and tell the short version; I'm still trying to sort out the realness of it all, and only some of the story is mine to share anyway. This past week Mom was diagnosed with cancer. On the 26th of this month she'll be having surgery to remove her right kidney, right ureter, and right ovary. We don't have a great many details about the severity of the disease yet; we just know it isn't stage 4. A lung scan and post-surgery biopsies will give more information about the status of metastasis. For those reading who pray, please pray for my mom. For grace to face the unknown, for courage in the face of fear, for hope of all the good that is yet to come--if not Here, then most certainly There.

I suppose Father's Day will never be just one more day. And that's okay. It's good to have days where we are reminded of all the hard and important things our flesh likes to forget. We are dust. He gives; He takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. 

Tadhg the Explorer

See that speck? That's Tadhg off to see the world.

And this? This is Tadhg knowing exactly how to relax once the world has been seen.

The Three of Us

First longer out-on-the-road walk with my Littler Boys since Pippin joined us. So far, we're acclimating quite nicely to life with three of us at home while Rundy's at work. 

Adventuring

Two of Rundy's sisters recently came over to play with Tadhg so I could nap with Peregrine (yep, they're gems). When I woke up and saw the pictures they'd taken, it made me wish I could've been in two places at once.

Chillin'

MORE Brotherly Love

Usually I'm the one with the lapful, but there's no photo evidence since it's just the boys and I home alone. But I was delighted to catch Daddy with a lapful this time around--these days fly fast, and these are the memories I want to hold onto.

Brotherly Love

I see this every day, many times a day. Tadhg has to take play breaks to snuggle his brother.

Sunset on the Hill

Golly, I love these boys.

Funny family photo.

View from the top.

Red Columbine growing in the field on the way up.

And evidence that family selfies don't always work as planned... 

Social Niceties

Tadhg's ready for polite society. Just look at how he wields that fork! (Never you mind that he has no shirt and just one shoe.)

A Boy and His Baby

Off Roading

Boy. Monster truck. One shoe, on one shoe off. Ideal set-up for some crazy driving.

Due to Join Us

June 10th. The day our little Pipsqueak was due to join us. Instead, God gave him to us early and we've been loving him on this side for just over three weeks. 

Happy due date, little one. We are so grateful you are here.

(I well remember when he was pulling these sorts of dance moves on the inside...)

First bath.

Little elfling attending his first wedding.

He is all sweetness. So far, he's proven to be an exceptionally peaceful boy--easy to care for, easy to soothe, easy to love.

Mr. Smushy Lips

Baby lips are the best.

(In other news, Peregrine left the hospital at 7 pounds and weighed 8 pounds, 1 ounce yesterday. He's growing like a champ.)